Sunday's Prayer

"Oh God, if there is a God, save my soul, if I have a soul." —The Agnostic's Prayer

On the face of it, that's a joke. I see the humor in it, certainly. But I think that for a lot of people with faith, or who wish they had some sort of faith, it's also quite serious.

If you don't believe there's a God of any sort, it won't speak to you, I'm sure. And your faith may not involve a soul that needs saving, in which case it's probably not terribly apt, either. But if your faith does include speculation about the ultimate destination of your soul or self, you might see what I do in it.

Because sometimes for me it feels like what I'm really saying.

See, while I do have faith, and I do have a lot of hope regarding that faith, I also have reason. Despite how some particularly vocal Christians may act, not all of us have disputes with science or logic, both things that sometimes seem to stand in opposition to faith. I can't prove there's a God, or a soul, or an afterlife, or that He had any hand in evolution or writing the laws of the universe, both things I know exist. That can make it hard sometimes. I have my moments of skepticism about my own beliefs. I have my doubts.

But that prayer isn't just about doubt. It's also about hope, something which I more and more find goes hand in hand with doubt. It could be I'm wrong. It could be that God really doesn't exist, that what I call the soul is really just the mind, that death is a simple ending and there's absolutely nothing beyond that. Yet the doubts don't change the fact that I have faith. It's not just crying out "I want proof!"; it's acknowledging that there is no proof but that you still, somehow, believe.

So I join in with the author of that prayer, with both my doubts and fears in alignment:

God, if you exist, save my soul, if it exists and needs to be saved. Thanks, if you need thanks. Love (if you need love) -- Me